An Incredible Gift

Songwriters are like parents. We bring a song into the world and then let it pave its own way as we step aside to watch it grow. And just like most parents, we only hope that our child is able to have a beautiful life of its own and that it can somehow make a difference in this world. Unlike most parents however, we do this hundreds of times during our lifetime and rarely ever get the opportunity to know how our music truly affects others.

For me, I write about my experiences and my truth, and I don’t hide anything in my music or my lyrics.. I don’t sugarcoat or make excuses. I am a perfectly flawed person and I’ve finally reached a place in myself where I can find comfort in admitting it. Of course it can be a fairly vulnerable feeling, putting your heart on the line, not really knowing how people will respond or react. But as an artist, you learn that much of your path consists of throwing yourself off a cliff hoping that you can fly, or at least hoping that if you hit the ground, someone will be there to catch you.

Because of this, I live my life not expecting much back in return. I simply hope that people will love my music as much as I do, but most often I never know how most listeners really feel. However, I received a gift after my CD release that was by far the most thoughtful and poignant gift I have ever been given. A small group of my fans got together and made me a scrap book full of stories, poems, pictures, and videos that they had created out of the inspiration they gained from listening to my music.

I sat down the day after the show and spent time with that book – taking in the voice of each writer.. laughing… crying, and feeling so incredibly grateful that these wonderful fans shared their own gifts with me. So I want to say a very special thank you to Kait, Jen, Priscilla, Christine, Kat and Nicole. You guys gave me something that is so rare in my life – the gift of being able to be on the other side of the table, enjoying your art and being inspired by YOU! You also gave me the invaluable gift of knowing that I was appreciated and understood and that my babies grew up and made me proud.

I wish I could share all of the words in this scrapbook with everyone – but I’m quite certain these up and coming, awesome artists will be sharing all of their talents with the world soon on their own. However, I wanted to leave you with one poem from this book that hit me incredibly hard due to the reasons I wrote the song it was inspired by. Reading this poem was very healing for me and perhaps it will be for you as well.

LOST AT SEA
by Christine Rickitts

Can you forgive me for the mistakes
I have made in my unbridled haste?
For the secrets I have kept close to my chest,
for all those things I now regret?
How often you offered me your care
as I ranted, belligerent in my despair.
How I wish I had been able to hear your voice
and not given in to so deceiving a choice.
But I could not bear the pain in my heart
as it tore me to pieces, part by grieving part.
Even as I watched you lift your head to sing,
broken and undone, I could not hear a thing.

I beg of you now, forgive me please.
Whisper it to the wind or tell me in dreams.
Name a place, close your eyes, and there I will be
though by Heaven’s gaze I am lost at sea.