It’s 4:01 am and I’ve come to realize that the bulk of my life as an artist happens in these wee hours of the morn. There’s something about the silence and the calm that washes over me and brings a precious clarity that I can never seem to reach under the scorching sun.
Right now, I’m in Ringwood NJ, where I live. My house sits on a mountaintop surrounded by lush trees and friendly (hopefully) forest creatures that find comfort in passing through my not-so-landscaped backyard. It’s lovely here, but at night.. right now.. it’s the sound of the crickets that soothes my soul. I’m amazed at how loud this “silence” can be. It’s one of the only things that ever seems to drown out the cacophony that is the inside my head.
It’s moments like these, when I should be sleeping so I can start Grown Up fresh tomorrow, that I find my inner child kicking and screaming… “I don’t want to go to bed!!”.. just as I did when I was little 10 year old Katy in my parents house in Wisconsin. The truth is, despite my inner tantrum, I couldn’t sleep even if I tried. I just find the night too intoxicating… it’s the fast food and alcohol and sex to my creative self that entices me to jump off of the cliffs of security that society has so neatly fenced me out of. But here’s what most people don’t know… the amazing thing about these late night cliffs is that you never hit the ground once you jump. The freedom is so liberating that somewhere during the free fall your spirit opens up and you simply take flight.
So here I am.. awake again… as I let the words and images that clog my mind flow onto this page, into my guitar, and one day out to the hearts of each of you. It’s a sacrifice that’s always worth making because even though tomorrow will come, and the bags under my eyes will be carrying even more luggage of their own.. I’ll be wearing the secret smile of a lover whose affair drapes over her throughout the day as she dreams and yearns for her next rendez vous.
Ode to the night as “Twilight drops her curtain down, and pins it with a star”…..
