Hey guys. So sorry I disappeared for a bit! I’m back and I promise you’ll be seeing more of me over the next several months on here. Anyway.. I’ve been thinking a lot lately and I wanted to share a few of my thoughts with you. I hope they bring you the comfort and inspiration they have given me.

Some people have luck… some people have money. Me? I have neither, BUT… I have a lot of determination and fight. This has proven to be a useful thing at times, however, when you get too accustomed to struggling against the odds your whole life, you come to realize after a while that fighting is a lot different than living. I learned this the hard way.

Over the past few years I went through a series of losses – family members.. band members.. friends.. students. As they say.. “when it rains it pours”. I tried not to wallow.  Instead I wrote a lot of songs, made an album and poured my heart into my music, determined to rise up and overcome. Although having a dream did help me to focus, constantly working started to take its toll on my state of mind.

Of course that didn’t stop me. I continued to work. and work. and work. and WORK. See, if I was working, I wouldn’t have to deal, so I became a non-stop machine, driven to make my dreams come true. However, instead of creating happiness, I became frustrated and dissatisfied with everything. I started to get sick regularly.  I couldn’t find pleasure in my accomplishments or see the truth of my successes.  Somehow, while I was working and fighting, I managed to stop living.

Thankfully, two weeks ago I realized a bold truth. What good is working and fighting and struggling ALL of the time if I’m still not happy? Isn’t the point of life to enjoy it? To embrace it? To have something to recall fondly when you look back at your past? Is it not just as important to partake in life as it is to observe it?

This simple epiphany made me wake up and realize that I desperately needed to make a change.  As a result, for the past few weeks I’ve been doing at least one nice thing for myself a day. I’m eating healthier. Spending more time with friends. Doing things alone like seeing movies, reading, or just taking in a beautiful day sitting in silence. In a nutshell, I’ve started making the time to live my life again.  Since I’ve been doing this I can’t help but notice that I’m sleeping better. The sun seems a little brighter, the sky a little bluer, my man is a bit more loving, my music is a bit more passionate.. more gigs are coming my way.  All because I realized the value of living my life.

It seems silly, but the truth is, you can choose to be unhappy by depriving yourself of what is good for you, spending your days blaming the world for everything you haven’t done, OR…. you can hold onto the reins of your life, choosing to be responsible for yourself, and invite true happiness to enter into the picture. It all comes down to a choice. To be or not to be. Indeed that is the question.

There’s a great quote that I think sums up this very concept – “What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.”

I challenge all of you to go on this journey with me. Make it a priority to do one good thing for yourself a day and see where it leads you. Let’s ENJOY this life together shall we?

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As you guys know, as a part of my Up Late with Mighty Kate series, I’ve been asking you to send me questions about my life and/or music so I can answer them on video.  I have loved getting these questions from you (keep them coming!!) however, about a month ago,  I received a question in an email from an old friend and brilliant poet, whom we shall refer to as “Stephen the Poet”.   He said he had been at a loss for inspiration lately and wondered (in so many words) “where and how do I find the strength and hope to stay focused and driven in this crazy business”?

It seems like there should be a really easy answer to this question. But in my Inbox it sat as I procrastinated and avoided it as best as I could.  Somehow it was like the big bad wolf, or the monster in the closet.. the more I thought about it, the harder it became to come up with words to explain just where the “MIGHT” in Mighty Kate comes from.

Then, two days ago, I opened up the dusty pages of my journal… and out came a poem. Now, you must understand.. I don’t write poetry.  In the 8th grade my English teacher gave me such a complex about my inability to write it that I have always shied away from it whenever possible. (Lyrics=good, Poetry=bad) Nevertheless, this poem came out and I couldn’t help but notice that in a very roundabout way, it was the answer I had been looking for.  After a bit of coaxing from you dear souls on Twitter, I’ve decided to share it with you in honor of  Stephen the Poet’s question. A poem for a poet. Be gentle.

Fortune
By Katy Pfaffl aka Mighty Kate
3/30/10

I felt the slap of fortune’s palm
upon the skin of my resolve,
and as the welts began to show
my sorrow flushed in afterglow.
There, like a fountain, I released
the tears of famine and of feast
until my demons turned to stone,
purging the guilt I had outgrown.

I raised my arms, lifted my voice,
and sang the cry of freedoms choice,
echoing deep into the void
that bitter patience had destroyed.
Soon time grew still, like heaven’s breath,
and I stood very close to death,
it’s bony fingers cold and crook’d,
yet I stole back the life it took.

I do not know how much time passed
as seasons faded into ash
and lifetimes wilted and decayed,
abandoning reason’s façade.
Out of a dream I simply woke
inside the ruin’s blackened smoke,
no longer blinded by the lies.
The truth had granted me new eyes.

Today I live this second chance,
refrained from doubt or backward glance.
Embracing grace, I am a cup,
trusting that life will fill me up -
prepared, when fortune comes again
and darkness poses as my friend,
to know the balance that I seek
and simply turn the other cheek.

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When I was a kid growing up in Wisconsin, I had dreams of what California was like. The huge blue skies, even bluer oceans, perfect weather.. sun every day.. To be honest, it just seemed like a dreamland to me. I couldn’t comprehend that while I was enduring 8 months of grueling winter, there was a place not that far away that was beautiful 365 of the year. Now, at the ripe old age of… ahem.. um… last week, I was lucky enough to be able to travel to California to release my new album, and I can officially say.. all of the dreams I had as a child were true. California is absolutely beautiful. From the minute I set foot at the Burbank Airport I knew I was going to have an amazing visit, and I was right.

The day after I landed I had a gig at Hotel Cafe in Los Angeles. I had anticipated having a pretty relaxed day of rehearsing for the show, getting a nice dinner and then heading to the club to perform. However, at the start of rehearsal I discovered that my violin was broken. Actually “broken” is a very nice way of saying the bridge flew off and there were important pieces of the violin loose and rolling around inside of it. Not a good feeling three hours before the show in a foreign land. However, after a big scare, the wonderful folks at David Gage (who make the violin I’m using, the Realistic) found me an awesome violin maker across town who patched me up last minute and sent me off and running to the gig. Thankfully it stayed in one piece and 200 Stories closed out the show as planned!

I’ve had the pleasure of playing Hotel Cafe a few times over the past several years and it was great to be back on that stage. The first time I visited LA I actually had the opportunity to open for the great Amos Lee at Hotel Cafe before it had expanded which was a night I will always remember. This time, I was able to share the night with the Cary Brothers, and Meiko – all wonderful singer songwriters based out of Los Angeles who were very kind to me. And of course my awesome backup singer and dear friend Morgan Paige came along with me this trip to sing and share in my California adventures. The show was a blast and after a lot of flailing and a few high kicks I was off and running to our show in San Diego.

For those of you who have never been to San Diego.. it’s about as close to perfect as you can get. The beaches are stunning, the people relaxed and friendly, the air soft and billowy and the club owners are actually NICE!! It’s true! Louie, the wonderful promoter/booker at Lestats in San Diego defies the stereotype that all club owners are jerks and is just about the warmest most supportive person you could ever meet. He LOVES music, and incidentally loves Mighty Kate! Needless to say, I had an incredible time performing at Lestats.. it has become one of my favorite places to play and I hope to keep coming back for many years to come. If you’re ever there and go backstage, there’s a wall full of signatures of all of the artists who have played there. I was lucky enough to be able to sign it twice as Katy Pfaffl and now as Mighty Kate. See if you can find me!

And of course in between these gigs I had the chance to catch up with old friends and experience some of the beauty of California that I had been dreaming of. I spent a night in charming Ventura, CA and woke up to an amazing bike ride to the beach and a kayak trip around the keys leading out into the ocean. I caught an amazing sunset driving on the 101. I spent an afternoon breaking into my friends truck after locking the keys inside with the car running!! and last but not least I had the opportunity to go sailing for the first time in my life. It was a trip full of sunlight, laughter, adventure, love and music and I couldn’t have asked for anything more. Many many thanks to my dear friends Erin Cottrell and Dan Toscano for housing us and to everyone else who came out and made these gigs great.

I miss you already California.. but thank you for welcoming me with such open arms. I’ll be back soon!!

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I woke up this morning and I felt heavy.. tired.. preoccupied. It was odd because there is nothing going on in my life right now to put me in that mood, but nonetheless it was there. I tried to shake it off and went through the grey snowy day feeling lethargic and slow. And then it hit me… it was February 25th.. Of course..

Even though it might seem like just an ordinary day to most people.. to me, February 25th is the day I lost a very good friend of mine in Milwaukee WI. His name was Aaron Tanner and he was just 27 when he was shot and killed in broad daylight on just another Sunday afternoon.

Aaron and I went to high school together and just like most high school kids, sometimes we loved each other, some times we hated each other – but somewhere in between we forged a meaningful friendship that lasted longer than I think either of us had imagined.  Even though he teased me and punched me and endlessly picked me up and deposited me in the sink of the boys bathroom (cuz I was REALLY small then), he was a good friend to me when I needed him, and there were times when I needed him a lot. In a way, we became family and I made sure to be his rock through some really hard years.

It’s so strange to think back to those years we shared together, both of us just trying to figure out how to get through the awkwardness of life. I never thought for one second that he wouldn’t get the chance to grow up and discover who he was – accomplish his dreams – get married – have a family.. all of the things we daydreamed about as kids. At that age it seems like we’ll all live forever.. invincible.. frozen in time.

When I decided to move to NY, most of the people in my life were against it. They were scared for me – convinced I would get eaten alive. There was no way a young girl from WI could go to NYC without getting mugged or shot on the streets – that’s what it was like on TV. But there was one person in my life who encouraged me, supported me and in many ways helped me find the strength to go. Aaron Tanner. He was scared too… so scared in fact that the day before I left he gave me a pep talk telling me what NOT to do if something went wrong in NYC. There is one point within that conversation that will haunt me for the rest of my life. He said to me,  “if someone tries to mug you, don’t run.. just give them your wallet… your wallet is not worth your life.”

Several years later, I got a phone call letting me know that Aaron had been murdered by 3 young boys who pulled up to him on the street, got out of the car, pointed a gun in his face and tried to steal his wallet. Instead of giving it to them, he ran .. and they shot him. Minutes later he died. The boys weren’t even 18 years old.

“your wallet is not worth your life”..

It had been a few years since I had spoken with Aaron. We’d had a small falling out because he was on a bad path for a while and I couldn’t bear to watch him self destruct. But just weeks before he died, I had heard he had turned his life around and was on his way to becoming a composer for video games.. he was engaged.. he was happy. We were both trying to get in touch with each other to reconnect. Never getting that chance was heartbreaking. And then I found a letter he had sent me when I first moved to NYC. A letter I have saved and somehow kept with me through all of the moves and transitions in my life.  A letter I will always keep close to my heart. In it he said….

“Inside this envelope you should find a check for $25.00. I have always wanted to go to NY and buy a sandwich at a deli and get a cup of coffee. I was hoping you could go to a deli and get that sandwich and write back to me on how it was. Or you can spend the money in another way, you MUST however spend it on something that will make you happy ok? I hope you will not forget how deeply I feel towards you and that you are being safe!! DO NOT get too relaxed. I don’t want to have to worry about you. And one more thing, if you are ever in trouble, need money, airfare, clothing, a soft shoulder, that’s what I’m here for. Don’t hesitate to ask.

Ps.. Men err as long as they do strive” – (God to Satan in Faust) – in essence – DO NOT GIVE UP!! I am proud do have you as my friend”

This is the reason my first album was dedicated to Aaron Tanner, and that he is thanked in every album I have made and will ever make. When I get depressed, I think of his words and his love and I keep going.. sometimes for him, and sometimes for me. I will never know why he didn’t take his own advice that fateful day. Regardless, this day, February 25th will never be just an ordinary day. I suppose I will always wake up feeling heavy in my heart, for it is the day I lost a dear friend.

In memory of Aaron Thomas Tanner – 2/25/2001

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Songwriters are like parents. We bring a song into the world and then let it pave its own way as we step aside to watch it grow. And just like most parents, we only hope that our child is able to have a beautiful life of its own and that it can somehow make a difference in this world. Unlike most parents however, we do this hundreds of times during our lifetime and rarely ever get the opportunity to know how our music truly affects others.

For me, I write about my experiences and my truth, and I don’t hide anything in my music or my lyrics.. I don’t sugarcoat or make excuses. I am a perfectly flawed person and I’ve finally reached a place in myself where I can find comfort in admitting it. Of course it can be a fairly vulnerable feeling, putting your heart on the line, not really knowing how people will respond or react. But as an artist, you learn that much of your path consists of throwing yourself off a cliff hoping that you can fly, or at least hoping that if you hit the ground, someone will be there to catch you.

Because of this, I live my life not expecting much back in return. I simply hope that people will love my music as much as I do, but most often I never know how most listeners really feel. However, I received a gift after my CD release that was by far the most thoughtful and poignant gift I have ever been given. A small group of my fans got together and made me a scrap book full of stories, poems, pictures, and videos that they had created out of the inspiration they gained from listening to my music.

I sat down the day after the show and spent time with that book – taking in the voice of each writer.. laughing… crying, and feeling so incredibly grateful that these wonderful fans shared their own gifts with me. So I want to say a very special thank you to Kait, Jen, Priscilla, Christine, Kat and Nicole. You guys gave me something that is so rare in my life – the gift of being able to be on the other side of the table, enjoying your art and being inspired by YOU! You also gave me the invaluable gift of knowing that I was appreciated and understood and that my babies grew up and made me proud.

I wish I could share all of the words in this scrapbook with everyone – but I’m quite certain these up and coming, awesome artists will be sharing all of their talents with the world soon on their own. However, I wanted to leave you with one poem from this book that hit me incredibly hard due to the reasons I wrote the song it was inspired by. Reading this poem was very healing for me and perhaps it will be for you as well.

LOST AT SEA
by Christine Rickitts

Can you forgive me for the mistakes
I have made in my unbridled haste?
For the secrets I have kept close to my chest,
for all those things I now regret?
How often you offered me your care
as I ranted, belligerent in my despair.
How I wish I had been able to hear your voice
and not given in to so deceiving a choice.
But I could not bear the pain in my heart
as it tore me to pieces, part by grieving part.
Even as I watched you lift your head to sing,
broken and undone, I could not hear a thing.

I beg of you now, forgive me please.
Whisper it to the wind or tell me in dreams.
Name a place, close your eyes, and there I will be
though by Heaven’s gaze I am lost at sea.

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So wow, last night was my cd release party at Le Poisson Rouge and it just may have been one of the best nights of my life. The room was packed with AMAZINGLY supportive wonderful people and I was blessed to be onstage with some of the best talent in NYC. It truly doesn’t get much better than that.

In all of the excitement, and even though I wrote a cheat sheet of things I was supposed to talk about on stage on the palm of my hand (yes I really did do that.. I’m still 12), there were still a few people that slipped through the cracks that I forgot to give a proper shout out too. It’s really hard to remember everything in those very important moments.. so I wanted to tell you guys about those folks right now, so you can know just how imperative they were in this whole process for me.

Mostly, I need to thank my manager Marsy Robinson. Marsy doesn’t like it when I make a big fuss about her in public, but this isn’t really public so there. When I met Marsy a few years back, I was in a space where I was very discouraged.. I had been hoofing it in NYC trying to make something happen with my music for a while and getting nowhere. I can honestly say that she completely infused me with the reassurance and confidence that I had lost and really pushed me to keep growing and expanding. It’s so rare to meet someone that you can trust completely, but Marsy is that person for me. My rock, my dear friend and my absolutely kickass manager. Everything you’ve seen me accomplish over the past few years is due to her hard work and dilligence behind the scenes and her unending support of me and my music. She is the BEST!

I also want to thank the musicians who played with me – Aaron Comess, Richard Hammond, Gene Back, Patrick Doane, Jeannie Oliver, Alice Hamlet, Morgan Paige, Abby Ahmad and last but not least, the incredible Scott Chasolen whom I mistakenly (and so stupidly) forgot to introduce as my keyboardist last night. I’m so sorry Scott – you were wonderful!!! This crew of people rehearsed their butts off and delivered a performance that I couldn’t have been more proud of. Thanks guys! And also to the additional choir members that joined me on Epitaph – Mike Messer, Joshua Kobak, Dane Hoyt, Becky Bliss, Sydney Ransom, Adrienne Asterita, and Lindsay Lavin – thank you guys for singing gloriously for my poppa.

I also want to thank a small group of my fans who took the time to make me a beautiful scrap book full of their own thoughts and feelings. I have never been more touched and I will cherish your gift forever. Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart. And also to my dear friend Alexandra who flew in all the way from Amsterdam to be there for me last night. I tell you – friends like that are few and far between and are like gold. I love you all.

Honestly, the show last night was truly more than I could’ve hoped for and I am overjoyed and relieved and full of about 4 billion other emotions in regards to it. Even though it’s just an album, the making and completion of MIGHTY KATE was so much more than that for me. It is proof that art can help us survive – that the human spirit is stronger than we believe it is – and that there are never too many obstacles to stand in the way of a dream. If you dream it, there is a way to make it happen – it may not be easy, but there is always a way. I will never forget all that I went through to make this album, nor will I forget this incredible time of my life. I am so proud to have put my heart into this record. I hope you enjoy.

My most important thank you goes to all of you reading this blog. Thank you so much for supporting and believing in me – some of you for so many years. I truly felt MIGHTY last night on so many levels, and I promise you this is only the beginning for little ole me. I hope there will be so many more years to come that we can share music and life together – I intend to be here for a LONG time.

And just so you know – if you weren’t at the show, I did have photos taken and also recorded the whole performance. Once we get the audio/video together, I’ll be sharing that with all of you. Thank you again, and away we go!

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So, it’s 2 days away from my cd release party and I honestly can’t believe I’m here. I keep thinking I should be nervous, or anxious, or something.. but instead I just feel excited and… ready. And it’s funny, because I can think back to different times in my life when I swore to everyone that I was ready, but in truth, I wasn’t ready. I was just impatient. frustrated. tired. But now, after the long and arduous journey I’ve taken to stand in this skin with these thoughts and this heart, I can finally tell the difference.

Thankfully, for the first time ever, ready means ready.

And I’ve had a lot of suprises and obstacles thrown at me the past few weeks. I lost my backup singer due to surgery and had to have a last minute substitute, Abby Ahmad, step in for me. However, Abby is an amazing singer songwriter herself and it’s been a joy to add her into this mix. A happy accident indeed. I also lost one of my violinists this week due to another emergency surgery. For a few days I was afraid there was some sort of curse on the ladies in my band – 2 girls out for surgery in the same week is pretty weird, but I found a substitute violinist named Patrick Doane who plays beautifully and who saved the day. In the end, it all worked itself out. This is the product of a major lesson learned.. Katy of the past might of freaked out about losing 2 band members just weeks before the show, but today Mighty Kate has learned to simply trust. It’s a good feeling.

If you guys do have a few extra thoughts and prayers to send to my 2 lovely ladies that have been through surgery (and are doing find btw) Nisha Asnani & Jessie Nelson, that would be awesome.

I’ve also been sick for a week now with a respiratory infection, but each day I get stronger and am getting much better at phlegm management. lol. I’m hoping that by the day of the show I’ll be singin like a bird. However, whatever happens it what will be. All I know is that I will give the best show I can for myself and for all of the people who believe in me. Phlegm or not phlegm.. the show will go on!

To be honest.. I think part of being ready is accepting. Accepting whatever comes your way, embracing it and riding it’s wave. My arms get too tired when I row against the current… today I’m riding in the flow and no matter I end up, this time I intend to enjoy the ride.

2 more days.. and I’m ready.

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It’s February of 2010, and in a way I’m starting this year with a clean slate. I’ve been going through a transformation for the past 2 years and somehow, thankfully, I have arrived here reborn… not just by name, but from the inside out. That being said, the time has arrived…. I have officially become MIGHTY KATE.

For those of you who have known me and followed me for years, you know that I am, and will always be, Katy Pfaffl in heart and spirit, but now I can be a bit more than that, no longer tied down to the silent P, three F’s and only one… yep.. only one vowel that is my crazy last name. Becoming Mighty Kate has offered me freedom, and for the first time in years, it’s given me a renewed hope and excitement in all that lies ahead of me.

Consider this blog, this website, this album, and this time, as the beginning of what I hope will be a long road in a life that has always had it’s twists and turns – it’s darkness and it’s bright, shining moments. In this blog I will be sharing my deepest thoughts, words, ideas, frustrations, and observations of this life. I hope as you read it we can become friends, and when you listen to my music, you can listen with an understanding that rings true to your own heart.

Thank you for coming here and thank you for listening and giving me the opportunity to follow a dream, and to work as hard as I can to make it come true. If you like what you find in this blog, on this site, in the music I create…. please share it with others. In this day and age, your word means everything. It is the voice of the Listener. Without you, I could not be. And for you, I am forever grateful.

I can’t wait for my cd release and to begin this incredible journey with all of you.
Stay tuned
Always
MK

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